I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
