I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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