Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
