where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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