he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
