Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
