i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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