she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
