He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
