did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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