i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
