Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
