I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
