and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize