i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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