ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
