i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
