Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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