I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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