first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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