You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
