hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
