i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
