apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize