chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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