i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize