id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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