How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
