a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
