well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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