He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
