just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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