I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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