I think my vagina is haunted
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Let's get the cat blown out
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
