She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
