when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
