She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
