Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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