We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
