it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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