Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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