Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Can I color on your dick again?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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