I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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