all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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