wanna go halves on a baby?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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