This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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