My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
