Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
