i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
