I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
