Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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