yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
