I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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