and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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