How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
