He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
