That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
