Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
