I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
