She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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