1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
At least make sure they are 18
Why
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize